Dating Calculator
by Rubytronix
Summary: Just a silly bit of fun. Connor makes a dating calculator that matches couples. Consists of a mixture of the old and the new team- pre Abby/Connor relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Primeval and all its characters belong to someone else.

_Just a little bit of silly fun whilst I'm preparing the sequel to Double Dating. This is pre Abby/ Connor and the team consists of a mixture of the old and new team. Matt and Emily still come from their own eras, but without the New Dawn influence. _

_I hope you don't think it's daft, but I enjoyed writing it anyway, even if no one reviews!_

_Short chapter, setting the scene…_

**Dating Calculator**

**Chapter One**- _The Game_

"Connor! What's all this mess? I hope you're going to clear all this up?" Abby asked, frowning at the pieces of equipment all over the table. "And is that the TV remote control?"

"Might be! Sorry Abby, I'll clear it all up later, yeah? Have to have somewhere to make my…stuff!"

"What's wrong with the ARC, Connor? That's what it's there for…what are you doing anyway?"

"Yeah…that's the thing. This isn't strictly something for the ARC. This…" he announced, proudly holding what used to be the TV remote aloft. "…is my…dating calculator!"

"Dating calculator? What? Does it tell us what era the anomalies lead to? That's pretty cool, Connor!"

"Er…no…not exactly, although that would be a good idea. Have to remember that! No, this is a _dating calculator_! I get everyone to fill out one of these questionnaires." Connor replied, holding up one pink and one blue piece of paper. "Then, I programme everyone's answers into the calculator and it matches one girl with one man…a dating calculator!"

"What!"

"Yeah…but there's more. Each couple goes on a date, and then fills out one of these…" Connor held up a green sheet of paper. "Then I input the results, and the calculator predicts if the couple are suited. If they're not, it chooses another match and the process begins again! What do you think- good eh!"

"Well, it could be fun, I suppose." Abby said doubtfully.

"Great…so, Abby, here's your sheet. Complete it and return it to me by tonight, please. Then after work, I'll input the details. Once I've got everyone's we're ready for the off!"

Abby took a pink sheet and glanced at the questions. Nothing too personal. It seemed OK. Oh well, if the others were game, then so was she!

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Primeval and all its characters belong to someone else.

**Dating Calculator**

**Chapter Two**- The Players

"OK, everyone." Connor said. "This is it! I've programmed all the data from the sheets into the calculator. Are you all ready for the results?"

"Er…I'm not sure." Becker said, having been railroaded into joining in- Connor had seen him talking to his favourite gun in the armoury, and had recorded him on his mobile. He then threatened to let everyone hear the recording unless Becker completed a questionnaire and took part. Normally Becker would have forced Connor to give him his phone and delete the recording- he knew this would have been easy to do, but he secretly thought the game could be fun. He hadn't had a date in ages, and Sarah seemed nice. This way, he could save face by pretending he was forced into it.

"No backing out now, mate!" Connor stated, waggling his phone back and forth at Becker. "OK, now remember, all couples must go on a date by the end of the week. Then you all need to fill in the green sheet I gave you. I'll process the data by next Sunday and we'll meet here after work on the Monday for the results. Clear?"

Everyone nodded. Lester sighed impatiently. How he'd been talked into this was a mystery to him. He _was_ a married man! But he thought this might be a good way to get to know his staff better on an informal basis. He didn't often mix with them outside work- only the odd drink now and again at the pub they all liked to frequent after a particularly harrowing day. He was beginning to regret his decision now, looking around at the mishmash of people. The team looked at each other, and Abby smiled at Lorraine Wickes and Christine Johnson who had just joined them.

"Ah yes!" Connor said. "I asked Lorraine and Christine…er Ms Johnson" he amended after a haughty look from the latter. "if they'd join us as we had more men than women. Had to even up the numbers!"

Christine Johnson wondered what on earth she was doing there. These people were so beneath her! But she did like the look of Lester- in fact she was very drawn to him. She knew he was married, but so what! She knew what she wanted, and she'd always managed to get it no matter what. She'd play along for a while until she got bored. She loved the chase, but once her prey was caught she got bored very quickly!

"Wait!" Matt interrupted. "There's still uneven numbers- Connor; me; Cutter; Lester; Danny; Stephen and Becker- that makes seven. There's only six women- Jenny; Lorraine; Sarah; Abby; Emily and Christine."

"Oh, yeah- sorry I forgot to tell you- I asked one of the science techies to play. I'm training her to operate the ADD- she's brilliant. She's new here and I thought she'd enjoy meeting some friends. She should be here any minute now… she just had to finish running a computer programme."

No sooner had the words been spoken, when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see a petite brunette in a very bright orange outfit smiling perkily at him.

"All done!" she announced.

"Great! Everyone, this is Jessica Parker."

"Please call me Jess." she said as Connor introduced her to everyone. Becker was instantly interested in this new addition. He'd never seen anyone wearing such outrageous shoes in his life!

"Here goes!" Connor cried and pressed the sequence of buttons on the dating calculator with a flourish….

To Be Continued…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Primeval and all its characters belong to someone else.

**Dating Calculator**

**Chapter Three**- First Matches

As Connor pressed the buttons on the dating calculator, he couldn't wait to be paired with Abby. He had a huge crush on her, but he didn't think she knew. This was the main reason he'd made the calculator in the first place- he was too scared just to ask her out. If she refused, he'd be crushed and all his hopes would come crashing down. At least this way, he could have a date and try to impress her so much that she'd like him too…maybe?

They all watched as the screen on the calculator showed their names being rotated. The rolling slowed down at last and Connor announced…

"First couple- Matt and Jess!"

Matt and Jess looked at each other. Bit old for me perhaps, Jess considered, but nice accent. Matt looked at Jess and couldn't help but feel a little disappointed- she was just a child! He really liked Emily, and she seemed to like him too. He'd been sure their details would have paired them together. Oh well, he wouldn't upset this young girl by appearing churlish. He smiled at Jess and offered her his arm in a very gentlemanly manner.

"Second couple- Stephen and Jenny!"

"Result!" thought Stephen. He liked Jenny's look even though she was older than him. He didn't care about that though, he liked an older woman. And those legs! They just went on forever, oh yes, this was going to be good!

Jenny sighed. Trust her to get the young playboy! She really didn't appreciate the way he was looking her up and down- she'd soon put him in his place! She went to stand beside him and when he went to give her a kiss, she turned her head so that he missed her lips and kissed her cheek instead.

"Next. Danny and Christine!"

The couple looked at each other and Danny, ever the gentleman, offered her his arm as Matt had done with his partner. This calculator didn't seem to work too well! He had wanted to be partnered with Jenny! Christine was too 'up herself' for him! Oh well, he'd just have to grin and bear it!

Christine looked Danny over. Quinn! Typical! She wanted a suave man like Lester and she got a cheeky rogue with no social skills whatsoever. Although he was quite a likeable rogue, she couldn't think of anything worse than a date with him. She looked from Lester's smart suit to Danny's fraying red checked shirt, worn over a long sleeved white t- shirt. No contest!

"Cutter and Emily!"

The two team members smiled at each other as their names were called out next. They each had another person that they preferred, but thought their date could actually be fun.

"Lester and Lorraine!"

Lester huffed and puffed a little, but wasn't too put out by his partner. He'd be interested in finding out more about her, he didn't think she'd ever spoken more than two words to him in all the time he'd known her- well on a personal basis anyway. Lorraine looked panic stricken. Lester of all people! She'd wanted a match with Stephen. Now _he_ was hot!

"Connor and Sarah!"

Connor exchanged a look with Abby as she realised that left her with Becker. Abby seemed almost disappointed, but maybe he was seeing too much in that one glance, being too hopeful as usual. Abby gave Becker a half smile, but stayed where she was. He just nodded at her, stoic and unreadable as always and stood with his arms folded. Connor moved over to where Sarah was standing- his date would be a laugh anyway! They were great friends- more like brother and sister really, they always teased each other but would do anything for the other if they needed help.

"So obviously that leaves the last couple as Becker and Abby! Have fun on your dates, guys and don't forget to give me your green sheets! Ladies and Gentlemen…Let the dates begin!..."

To Be Continued…


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Primeval and all its characters belong to someone else.

**Dating Calculator**

**Chapter Four**- Abby/ Becker

"So…where would you like to go?" Becker asked Abby, not having a clue where to take her.

"Erm…how about the bar down the road? It's nice and quiet there and we could have a meal, if you wanted?"

"Sounds good!"

With that they strolled down the street towards the bar. Becker was silent, desperately trying to think of something to talk to Abby about. His social skills weren't too good- he'd spent too much time around raucous soldiers to have the graces to chat to a woman comfortably.

"So you like animals…" he started to say.

"So guns are your thing?" Abby said at the same time. They both stopped and laughed self- consciously.

"Oh well, I was wondering- you seem to enjoy guns and weapons. How did you get into them? Was it before you became a soldier and that's why you joined the military or after you became a soldier?" Abby asked.

"Before." Becker answered shortly. Silence. He thought he'd better say a bit more, but didn't really like opening up too much. "My father's a Colonel, and he brought me up to love anything military. We used to go shooting when I was a child- stayed in tents and then hunted deer or rabb…" he suddenly stopped, seeing the glare Abby was sending his way.

"How could you! Killing animals for sport! That's why you're always so eager to shoot the creatures!"

Becker glared back- he'd been proud of his prowess in hunting. His father had paid him a lot of attention back then, sharing their love of shooting and guns, and father and son had bonded over it. He just couldn't see it as a bad thing

"I don't think we should go there…I think it'd be best just to agree to disagree on that one!" Becker said trying to diffuse the situation. This date was already off to a bad start!

"Look, Becker- I'm not having a go at you, really. But, especially with these creatures we've been given the privilege of seeing something no one else has. We have to at least try to get them back to their own time unharmed."

"Sometimes it's necessary, Abby. You can't always get them back as much as you'd like to!"

"I do know that Becker! I'm just saying don't be so eager to shoot first. Look at Princess…"

"Who?"

"Princess- the Dracorex. You wanted to shoot her! You didn't even try to get her back. Shoot first, ask questions later- is that your motto, _Becker_?"

"Now just wait a minute, _Abigail_! I'm just trying to do my job...protecting _you_. That dragon- thing was hurt and in my eyes that made it dangerous!"

"Yeah well, I can look after myself! I'm just glad I stopped you from shooting her, and I'd do it again!"

"If I remember correctly, your Princess charged at me and I got thrown back into a truck load of strawberries! Stained my uniform something rotten!"

"Hah! Better than killing an innocent creature."

"Oh yeah- it's coming back to me now! I was plagued by wasps for ages afterwards, smelling of strawberry juice! They just kept coming after me!"

Abby laughed at the memory. "Every time you tried to say something you had to…'thump'…"she slapped her thigh, demonstrating how Becker slapped at the wasps. "You looked like a girl flapping your arms and jumping around, trying to get rid of them! That was so funny!"

"Funny! I'm sure I got stung! That was NOT funny, _Abigail_!"

"Was from where I was standing!"

Becker took a breath. This wasn't working out the way he'd meant it to. At least Abby's mood had lightened as she was still laughing at his misfortune! They'd finally got their drinks and as they sat down at a table near the bar, Becker decided to steer the conversation away from him, the wasps, the Dracorex and shooting animals! Best thing would be to talk about Abby instead!

"So…how's your brother…Jack isn't it?"

"He's fine." Abby said shortly.

"Has he grown up a bit? Bit of a prat last time I met him." NO! Wrong thing to say! Sheesh! He was turning into Temple! Putting his foot in it at every turn! Abby didn't bother to answer. She just took a large swig of her beer, and glared at Becker. He decided to give it one more go before he completely ruined a perfectly good friendship.

"So, err…what kind of work were you doing at Wellington zoo?" Becker asked at last. It was the only thing he could think of that seemed a much safer topic of conversation.

Abby seemed to perk up at his question. She didn't want to fall out with Becker, but he really had no idea how to chat with her without starting an argument.

"I looked after the lizards- they're wonderful creatures. Did you know that the tail of some lizards separate from the body when the lizard is grabbed by a predator? The tail that is left behind wriggles, confusing the other animal, giving the lizard time to escape. It grows another tail, but it the new tail is shorter and a different colour. Oh, sorry…" she added, noticing Becker's eyes glazing over. "I sometimes forget that not everyone likes animals and reptiles as much as I do. People are much more difficult to communicate with, animals are so easy- if they trust you!"

"Yeah, I've noticed you and Connor have that prob…lem…" Oh, oh! Another faux pas! Abby choked on her beer.

"What d'you mean?"

"Well you two obviously like each other, yet neither of you say or do anything about it!"

"Becker! We're just friends, that's all!"

"Really? Because everyone else can see it…"

"See what?" she demanded.

"The way you sometimes look at each other. The way you're always together. The way he does everything you say, like a puppy. The way you were jealous over Caroline…" Stop Becker, his brain screamed at him, but his mouth just carried on. "You push him away, but he comes back for more. One day he won't!"

Abby was furious- part of her knew that Becker was right and that just seemed to make her angrier. She slammed down her drink and wagged her finger in Becker's face.

"This 'date' is over! Not a good one, Becker. You know, you really need to get out more and get some social graces. Even Connor can do better than you! Oh…just go and date your gun- you seem to like it more than you like people!"

With that she stormed out of the bar. Becker sighed and pulled out his green sheet. No- not compatible. It wasn't all his fault- they just had very different opinions. As he completed the short questionnaire, thoughts of a certain brightly dressed young lady filled his mind, and wouldn't go away. Now that was someone he _would_ like to get to know better!

To Be Continued…..

_So Abby and Becker definitely weren't a good match- they're more like brother and sister- always arguing! In the next chapter, we'll see how two more of our couples get on…_

_The story about the strawberry juice was a true one (embellished a little) - ALP told the story of Ben being unable to get the strawberry juice out of his costume, and that everywhere he went outside he attracted wasps. It's in the transcript of the Collectormania talk. (thanks goes to .com for sharing the transcript with everyone!) _


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Primeval and all its characters belong to someone else.

_Longer chapter as this involves two couples! Please enjoy!_

**Dating Calculator**

**Chapter Five**- Cutter and Emily/ Stephen and Jenny.

Cutter and Emily had decided to go to the theatre as she hadn't been before. He took her to see the 'Lion King' and she'd been entranced by the performance. He'd had a great deal of pleasure just watching her face as she sat in her seat enthralled by everything that was going on both on stage and around her. As they left, she clutched her programme and thanked him several times over for taking her. She told him she'd never forget her first visit to the theatre and she was so pleased he had been the one to go with her. Cutter had taken Emily under his wing almost as much as he had with Connor and Abby as he was intrigued about her life in the Victorian era, and they'd already spent several enjoyable tea breaks chatting about her life there.

They both knew they wouldn't have a romantic relationship, but their friendship was important to both of them. They decided to finish their lovely evening at the pub near the ARC, as Cutter was going to go back there a little later to complete some work he was doing.

"So, Professor, you were married? To Helen. Is that right?" Emily asked.

"Yes." he replied.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I have heard a little about her- she was crazy, I believe? That must have been very hard for you?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Helen was….just Helen. She led me to believe she was dead, for eight years! She betrayed me with Stephen. That doesn't make me feel good, Emily!"

"But then you found Claudia! You loved her…"

"Emily!" Cutter cried, the vision of Claudia immediately filling his mind. He softened as he replied. "Yes, I fell in love with a beautiful woman called Claudia Brown. But I haven't got a good track record with women, it seems. I went through an anomaly and changed something. She disappeared. No one knew her- she never existed! Just faded from existence."

"I understand. That's why I was so careful of the gateways. I was afraid of changing something. I only ever went through when there was no choice."

"Well, I wish I had been as careful! You're a wise woman. I don't want to talk about it any more." he said bitterly.

Emily caught his tone. "I'm sorry, Professor- I didn't mean to offend. I do understand, you know. My…my husband wanted to send me to Bedlam because after all I'd seen and done, I couldn't just be the blindly obedient Victorian wife he wanted me to be. I told him I wasn't ready to have children, and he said…he said he was going to sleep with the maid to get the son and heir he wanted. He would bring it up as his own and I was to say and do nothing! He expected me to let him do whatever he wanted and I was just to obey." She explained to Cutter, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

"What happened?"

"I took out the knives I'd taken to carrying- because of the creatures, you understand! I pulled them out and threatened to cut off his…appendage if he dared do such a thing! Next thing I knew- he tried to get me put away in Bedlam for being mad! Luckily Matt had come through a gateway after a creature and saved me…brought me back here to a new and exciting life."

Cutter looked at the feisty young Victorian Lady with new respect. "I guess we've all got our skeletons, eh! Come on, let's have a drink and forget your husband and my ex-wife! Here's a toast…to new beginnings and new relationships!"

They sat together feeling even closer than they had previously been after sharing some of their past with each other. They started to relax, and the conversation flowed between them and they felt very comfortable together.

"Well, this was a very enjoyable 'date.' Thank you, Emily." Cutter remarked as he placed another white wine and his own lager on the table.

"No- thank _you_, Professor Cutter." Emily responded. "It's a shame we don't like each other in a romantic way." she laughed. "It seems that poor Connor isn't having much success with his dating calculator! Abby was absolutely furious with Becker! It could have ruined their friendship, but luckily they made up, and Abby told me she's apologized to Becker for imposing her beliefs on him. She mentioned something about wasps but I didn't understand what she meant, but at least they're friends again…as long as he doesn't shoot the creatures before trying to get them home first!"

"I think this dating calculator is going to cause some more problems- Christine Johnson and Danny!" Cutter said shaking his head. "I don't know who's worse- Connor for making it or all of us for going along with it!"

They laughed together, and Emily and Cutter settled down to enjoy their drinks and the rest of their evening.

**~~oOOo~~**

Jenny opened her door to see Stephen Hart standing on her doorstep. As usual his eyes flitted down her legs and back up again, grinning as her finally looked her in the eyes.

"You're looking beautiful." he said in a smooth tone. He was obviously well practiced in the art of 'chatting up' women.

"Thank you." She replied shortly. "You look very nice too." She felt she had to say something pleasant to the man- he was her work colleague after all! She'd wring Connor's neck for this- him and his ridiculous dating calculator! "Shall we get off then?"

"We could just stay here, you know." Stephen tried. "We could put on some music and just drink champagne…" with that, he produced a bottle of decent champagne from behind his back. "Then we could lie in bed and share some strawberries and cream together…" he continued, bending down to pick up a punnet of strawberries and a small pot of cream from behind the door.

Jenny couldn't believe the cheek of the man! Firstly, he was a colleague, secondly she was his superior and thirdly…she was sorely tempted by his pick up line. She was as furious with herself as she was with him for even contemplating the idea.

"Thank you for the offer, Stephen." She said smoothly "But I think we'll go to the pub as planned."

"Can't blame a guy for trying!" Stephen laughed, breaking the ice a little and helping Jenny on with her coat. He put his arm on the small of her back as he led her towards the car. Oh she'd have to watch this one, she thought. This man really thought he was God's gift to women!

They arrived at the pub, and Stephen led her to a secluded spot and ordered champagne for them both. He kept throwing Jenny compliments and she began to get tired of his incessant 'hitting' on her. Didn't he realise she liked…well, never mind who she liked, but he was really grating on her nerves now. She decided to try to turn the conversation to something more ordinary, finish her drink and then make some excuse and leave. She was sure some other girl would catch his eye and he wouldn't give her a second thought.

"So Stephen, that was some anomaly yesterday wasn't it! I had a very difficult time trying to make a cover story…." Jenny stopped mid- sentence as Stephen reached forward and took her hand in his. "Stephen…" she began.

"You know I've always found you attractive." He was saying.

"Stephen…" she tried again.

"We could be good together, you and I. You know, I once thought I fancied Abby- but she's far too immature for me. A woman like you is just what I need."

"You fancied Abby?" Jenny said amazed. She could only ever recall Abby and Connor being together all the time, even though they were constantly 'dancing' around each other and not actually dating.

"Well, it was really more a case of Abby fancying me. It was when I was delirious from the poison from an Arthropleura."

"Arth?..."

"Giant centipede. Anyway, I asked Abby out for dinner before I passed out in the ambulance. Unfortunately when I came round I didn't remember anything that happened after I'd been bitten. I was delirious, you understand- I thought I was going to die…and I didn't want to die without her knowing that I liked her, But when I came round, I couldn't remember what I'd said, and when I mentioned to Abby that my girlfriend was coming to pick me up from the hospital, she'd seemed upset…I didn't know why! It wasn't until later I remembered the whole thing and understood why Abby was mad with me! She seemed to lose interest in me then- too immature I guess to handle it! Then there was the whole Helen thing…"

"Helen!"

"Hey! She came onto me- I was just her student when we met! She was pretty hot, actually!" he mused, a smirk playing on his lips. "No- you can't beat an older woman with experience. You know what I mean…" he added suggestively.

"Stephen…"

"Are you…experienced, Jenny?" he asked moving closer.

"Stephen!"

"Come on, now... You don't have to play coy with me…you and me…we could make sweet music together!"

He moved even nearer to her and she could feel his breath on her face. He moved in for a kiss, his hand snaking its way under the front of her shirt. Jenny slapped his hand away, and moved away from him. This didn't seem to faze him at all.

"Don't play hard to get, Jenny. We're both free agents. Let's have a little fun…."

"Stephen!" she cried, desperately trying to think of an excuse to get away from him. "I'm… I'm seeing someone! I'm sorry! This was just meant to be a way to get to know colleagues. Nothing more!"

"Oh? Really? Who are you seeing, Jenny? Someone from the ARC?" Stephen said disbelievingly.

"Yes, it is actually."

"Because I haven't seen you with anyone."

"Well, that's not my problem is it Stephen? Actually- there he is over there." Stephen turned to where Jenny was looking, and to his surprise saw Cutter sitting laughing with Emily.

"What, Cutter! Unless it's Emily….?" he said, pausing at the thought.

"Yes, Stephen, it's Cutter. In fact, if you'll excuse me- I think I'd like to go to see him now. Thank you so much for a lovely evening…and the champagne." With that Jenny stood up and walked over to where Cutter was sitting with Emily. When Jenny reached him, she chanced a quick glance at Stephen who was still watching, amazed. Jenny grabbed Cutter, and drew him into a passionate kiss. Emily watched, highly amused as Cutter looked a little surprised but didn't protest and kissed her back, obviously enjoying the contact.

"I'm sorry, Nick." Jenny whispered. "But I told Stephen we're together- he was driving me insane!"

"No problem. In fact…" as he replied, he pulled her back into his arms and they forgot where they were and enjoyed the moment.

"OK, guys." Emily interrupted. "Er...Guys! I'll be getting off now. No…it's fine, Professor- you stay here with Jenny. Thank you for a wonderful day. Have fun you two!" she laughed.

Jenny and Cutter didn't notice… they were kissing again. Stephen sat where he was and just stared. Who'd have thought it…Cutter and Jenny! Now- who else in this room was available?...

To Be Continued…

_At least Cutter and Emily enjoyed their date- to a point, as friends. _

_Stephen and Jenny! Well, that's definitely a mismatch! I thought it'd be fun to replicate Claudia kissing Cutter when she wanted to get away from a man in a bar that first time they met! Hope you didn't mind!_

_Will this Dating calculator ever get good results? Watch this space…_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Primeval and all its characters belong to someone else.

**Dating Calculator**

**Chapter Six**- Danny and Christine

"Come on, Christine!" Danny said as he drove to the pub. "It'll be fun! Trust me! We'll just have a few drinks…see where it leads, yeah?"

"It will lead nowhere, Mr Quinn." She replied frostily.

"Well no- not if you won't give it a chance!"

"You know what, you're right. I apologize. Let's start again, shall we?" Christine suddenly mellowed. After all, he was a good looking man in a rugged, sort of way, and she hadn't had a date in a while. At least Danny wasn't married- unlike Lester!

Danny cast Christine a lopsided grin as he pulled the car into the driveway of the restaurant he had chosen as the venue for their date. It was a very expensive restaurant as he'd wanted to impress Christine. He'd dressed in a white jacket with black trousers, black waistcoat and a black bow tie in honour of the occasion and he grabbed at the tie around his neck every now and again, trying to clear his airway from the constriction.

Christine had dressed in an immaculate turquoise silk dress, which fell to her calves. Her hair was up in a chignon and she wore delicate jewellery to compliment the outfit. Her shoes matched her outfit perfectly, and although Danny thought that Christine often behaved as if she was above everyone else, on this occasion she had really made an effort and he thought she looked stunning. He admitted to himself that he had a 'bit of a thing' for Jenny, but he didn't think she felt the same way- he had seen the way she looked at Cutter. Maybe Christine would take his mind off her.

They went into the restaurant and Christine was surprised that the Maître d' seemed to know Danny and they were taken to a decent table usually reserved for important people. As they settled into their seats, the wine waiter came over and Danny ordered some wine. Christine was impressed once again- he seemed to know his wines. This man was turning out to be something of an enigma and she was beginning to be a little interested. Danny took charge and ordered their meals, and again Christine was pleasantly surprised. They talked about anything and everything over their meal, and there hadn't been any awkward silences. Danny had made a few jokes, but Christine had politely laughed at them even though she thought they were a bit 'cheesy.'

"Well, well, Mr Quinn." she began. "You are a surprise. Perhaps I've misjudged you a little."

"Thank you, and it's Danny! I told you we'd get on. Once you took that chip off your shoulder, I knew you'd be nice underneath!"

"Well, really!" she started affronted. "I haven't got a chip…" she stopped suddenly as Danny was laughing uproariously. "Oh, you're making a joke aren't you?"

"Just teasing. It's great here, isn't it? I come here a lot."

"Really? You do surprise me!"

"Why? Because I was once a cop and I've got a London accent. You're a snob, Christine Johnson!"

"I most certainly am not! I've got nothing against your accent, Mr Quinn. It's very…er…very…"

"Very? Rough? Cockney? Not posh enough?"

"I'm beginning to dislike you, Mr Quinn!"

"Danny. And no you aren't. I think you're beginning to like me!"

"Oh, really? And I suppose you think I'll be coming back with you for coffee tonight?"

"Certainly not! I'm not that kind of a guy, Christine."

"Pity. I'm feeling a little thirsty, and the coffee here's not so good…"

"Waiter! Bill please! Then let's…satisfy that thirst, shall we, Christine!"

"Yes, let's!"

Danny threw some notes onto the table and led Christine towards the door. As he passed the Maître d' he whispered "Thanks Uncle, I owe you one!" He hadn't bothered to mention to Christine that he could never afford to come to a place like this and get the best table and the best wine. Luckily his uncle worked here and was more than happy to do him a favour.

**~~oOOo~~**

Most of the team had tried to obtain accommodation as near as possible to the ARC due to being called in at unsocial hours. Danny was no exception, and they quickly reached his flat. It was in a nice area and the snob in Christine was satisfied at it not being too ramshackle or in a bad area. They went up to his apartment and when he opened the door, Danny moved quickly to the sofa where he scooped up a bundle of clothes.

"It's OK, Christine," he laughed. "I haven't been burgled!"

Christine looked at him uncomprehendingly and raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"Er…you know…the old joke? Because it's untidy…oh, never mind…I'll just…" he gave up on the joke and glanced around the room, finally going over to a cabinet and opening the door. He threw his armful of clothes inside, forcing the door closed with an effort. "So!" he said, standing up. "That coffee! I'll just…"

"Unless you've got something a little bit stronger?..." Christine countered.

"Aha! A girl after my own heart. I've got a nice little brandy tucked away, if you'd like some?"

"Lovely!"

Danny poured their drinks, giving Christine a larger glass full than normal to try to 'loosen' her up a little. "So tell me, Christine- what sort of guy do you usually go for?"

"Well…nice brandy by the way!... I tend to be a little diverse when it comes to men. I really go for the suave, sophisticated type- expensive suits- tuxedos that kind of thing. But then I'm also rather taken with your…well, action man type. You know- the 'who dares wins' kind!"

"So, basically a mixture between Lester and Becker!"

"Perfect!"

"Oh er, would you excuse me just one moment, Christine? I'll just get us some nibbles…feeling peckish…"

A few minutes later, Danny returned and stood in front of Christine where she was just checking the messages on her phone. She looked up, then looked back at her mobile for one second, then did a double take and stared at Danny in shock. Her mouth dropped open and she dropped her phone. Standing in front of her was Danny, dressed in nothing but his white tuxedo jacket, his bare chest with its light covering of hair exposed. With the jacket he wore just a pair of boxer shorts, patterned all over with guns of varying kinds.

"Suave- tuxedo and action man shorts! Fantastic, Danny!" Christine actually lost her superior demeanour for a split second as her face lit up with a look of wicked glee.

"Just my kind of guy!" She yelped as Danny moved closer to her and scooped her up in his strong arms and carried her towards the bedroom.

Connor Temple's dating calculator is brilliant, he thought to himself with a huge grin on his face….

To Be Continued…

_Hooray! Success at last! I don't think it'll be a long term relationship though!_


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Primeval and all its characters belong to someone else.

_The first part of this chapter is based on a time I went on a training course for work, and had to sit with the person who my boss at that time. We had absolutely nothing to talk about and it was a very embarrassing and painful experience!_

**Dating Calculator**

**Chapter Seven**- Lester and Lorraine/ Matt and Jess

"Ms Wickes, may I?" Lester said pompously, pulling back her chair for her at their table in the staff canteen. Lorraine sat down, feeling totally unable to put any coherent words together.

"So…tell me Ms Wickes, what do you do in your spare time?"

"I…I…" she stuttered. This man had always terrified her with his scathing sarcasm and officious manner. "Call me Lorraine, please." she finally managed to get out.

"And you can call me J…J…you can call me Lester."

"I er, well I like computers, sir and I have two dogs… Rom and Ram."

"Oh, how…lovely. Erm…how long have you worked at the ARC my dear?"

Well really, she thought. He'd interviewed her for the job himself! She'd actually nearly turned it down due to the way he'd seemed totally uninterested in anything she'd had to say at that interview. But she'd decided that her career was more important than an instant dislike of her boss.

"Two years!" she replied. "How about you?" she blurted out, lamely.

"Me? Oh I've been here for _ever_. Well, it feels like forever when I've got a team of ramshackle rank amateurs to keep in line. To think I had good career prospects before working with the 'Scooby Gang' and….dinosaurs! Still, I'm never one to complain, Ms Wickes as you no doubt know. No…no…somebody has to keep them in line!"

Lorraine fiddled with her hands and finally took a gulp of coffee which was red hot. Great! Now she'd burnt her tongue! To both their relief, Lester's mobile phone suddenly trilled out. He excused himself and gingerly pulled the phone out from his pocket.

"Lester." he announced. "Oh Minister. Yes, Sir- I have the reports for you…"

As Lester continued his conversation with the Minister, Lorraine had a few moments to gather her thoughts together. She was really angry with herself that she let this man intimidate her like this. She was usually a very confidant woman, but was reduced to jelly in his presence. Connor had promised her a fun evening, not a torturous one. She'd have a few words with that young man when she got back to the ARC. He owed her big time for this! She'd make him do a couple of her shifts for her! That's what she'd do. She needed some time off and after this…fiasco…she knew she wouldn't be able to bring herself to ask Lester for the time off. She didn't think she'd be able to look him in the eye for quite a while!

Lorraine let her thoughts drift on. She wished she'd matched with Stephen. She could imagine them having a lovely meal. He'd look her in the eyes and they'd not be able to look away- just like the lovers in a movie. He'd lean forward and say 'you look beautiful tonight Lorraine!' Their faces would be so close, they'd almost be kissing as she'd reply 'you're so handsome!' and then…

"I beg your pardon?" a voice cut into her daydream.

"Sorry?" she asked.

"You said…you said something?" Lester looked at her, his phone had been replaced in his pocket and he was staring at her, his eyebrows raised.

Oh no! She hadn't…she hadn't said that out loud, had she! "I er…"

"Well, thank you, Ms Wickes." Lester went on. "…I think! You do know, I'm married?"

Lorraine nearly fainted on the spot. OK she could get out of this, but how? Her brain buzzed as she tried to think up a response. "Oh yes, of course. What I meant was that your suit's very handsome. It's a lovely colour. I'd love the name of your tailor- for my boyfriend you know. We're going to a wedding soon and he needs…" her voice trailed off as her nerve broke. She thought she may have got away with it…just!

"Oh! Yes...yes of course!" Lester said relieved.

They elapsed into silence once again. Try as he might, Lester couldn't think of anything else to say. He really didn't have _anything_ in common with these people! Lester looked around him, gazing into the air. Lorraine sat miserably and was just about to ask him some mundane question just to break the silence, when Lester said…

"Ms Wickes- do you think we should call it a day? I have a mountain of paperwork to complete."

"Yes please!" she answered before he had even finished his sentence.

"Good…good…it's all good!" Lester muttered as they both rushed to leave, not even bothering to finish their cups of coffee. "Well, see you tomorrow, perhaps."

"Yes, sir!" Lorraine replied as she practically ran down the corridor. Just wait until she got hold of Connor!...

**~~oOOo~~**

Matt and Jess had decided to take a picnic to the park. Matt was really interested in botany and he always enjoyed sitting in the little enclosed rose garden. Jess thought it was a lovely idea and went along with the plan happily. Unfortunately, she hadn't thought about her footwear and was now trying very hard to walk on the grass verge without falling over in her very high heeled shoes.

"Here's a lovely spot!" Matt said. "Emily and I often come here."

Jess smiled, she didn't mind at all that Matt had mentioned Emily. She knew that she and Matt weren't suited- Emily was much more his type, but she was just happy to enjoy a day out. They settled down on the blanket they'd brought, and Jess set out the food. It was so lovely and tranquil, she thought. Now, if she'd come here with that…what was his name again…Baker? No…Becker! That was it- Becker! He'd looked great in his black uniform- so tall and handsome.

They settled down to enjoy the tranquillity, and began to eat their lunch. As Jess munched on a peanut butter sandwich, she felt a soft tickling on her leg. She brushed at her leg, thinking she'd dropped some crumbs but again felt a tickle. Looking down, she suddenly gave an ear piercing scream. She leapt up, dropping her sandwich and as she brushed at her skirt, she was so panicked that she waved her bottle of water around, splashing the contents all over Matt, and smacking him in the eye with the plastic bottle.

"What? What is it?" he cried, soaking wet and holding his eye with one hand and his ear, which was still ringing from the sound of Jess' shriek, with the other.

"Ants! Ants!"

She continued jumping about, crying and screaming. "I'm allergic, Matt! Get them off me!"

Matt felt that this situation called for him to ignore the fact that Jess was wearing an extremely short skirt, and rubbed his hand down her long legs, even though he couldn't see any ants there.

"They've gone!" he said soothingly. Jess threw herself into Matt's arms where he tried his best to comfort her until she had calmed down. "It's OK, Jess- come on, let's sit on the bench over there and have the rest of our lunch."

"Matt- I'm so sorry!" Jess cried, mortified as she saw Matt's wet face and slight redness where the bottle had hit him.

"It's alright. I'm sure I'll regain full vision soon!" he quipped.

"No…I'm sorry! I really, really hate insects. Worse than spiders…"

"Worse than dinosaurs?"

"Definitely!" Jess agreed, finally settling down again.

After they had regained their composure and began to enjoy the rest of their picnic, uninterrupted by insects, and Jess had finally stopped checking her legs to see if she had any more ants on her, Matt tried to make conversation with her once more. She really was a sweet girl- if a bit loud!

"So Jess, how long have you worked at the ARC?"

"Just under three months now. It's brilliant!"

"Connor said he's training you on the ADD? How's that going?"

"Good. To be honest, it's not too complicated for me. Oh, sorry, does that sound big- headed? I'm just good with computers, that's all!"

"Well, perhaps we should give you a trial and move you onto becoming a field coordinator. I'll talk to Connor and Lester about it."

"Wow! That's…that's fantastic! Thank you so much, Matt. I know that's what Connor was hoping for me- it'd free him up for his other projects!"

"Maybe I'll change my mind then after this ridiculous dating calculator lark! Don't know what possessed us all to take part!"

"I know but he was so excited about it. He just can't wait for his date with Abby! He's crazy about her!"

"Hold on, he's partnered with Sarah isn't he?"

"Oh! Oh, yes. Just forget I said anything….silly me babbling on. Yes he's matched with Sarah. Of course he is! Now about Becker…" Jess hurriedly added.

"No…hold on. How does Connor know he'll have a date with Abby? Unless…he hasn't rigged this whole thing has he? No, how could he do that...he matched with Sarah, not Abby?" Matt said puzzled.

"No of course he hasn't rigged…." Jess' voice faltered as she went bright red. She just wasn't any good at keeping secrets. Why did everyone insist on telling her secrets when it was so hard to keep them!

"Jess! Come on, out with it!"

"Well, if you promise not to say I told you! The calculator doesn't really work. He fixed the results. He thought it would be too obvious to match him and Abby the first time round so he was going to do it the next time. He thought he'd match the most ridiculous partners together and have some fun with it! He erm...well, he likes Sarah so he paired himself with her, but we did giggle over Lester and Lorraine and Christine and Danny! I'm sorry, Matt."

"Why, that little…no wonder none of the true couples got partnered- he engineered it that way! Well, we'll just have to teach that young man a lesson won't we!"

Matt picked up his mobile and called all the pairs to a meeting- that is all the pairs bar one person…Connor…

To be Continued…


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Primeval and all its characters belong to someone else.

**Dating Calculator**

**Chapter Eight**- Connor and Sarah

It was time for Connor to take Sarah on their date. Connor was looking forward to it as Sarah was a good friend and they had fun together, but he really wished he was taking Abby out. Never mind, he'd be able to take her somewhere fabulous when they were paired, and maybe…just maybe she'd begin to like him too! He'd decided to take Sarah to an Egyptology exhibition which was in town for a short while. He knew she loved all that sort of stuff, and he was quite interested in it himself. He liked trying to work out what the hieroglyphics meant and looking at the mummies.

He felt a bit odd when he went to meet her in Cutter's lab after work because he just couldn't shake off the feeling that everyone was looking at him. He turned to meet Matt's glare, which quickly turned into a half smile. Had he imagined it? Then there were the barbed comments from Becker- but perhaps that was because he'd forced him into playing the game, and Becker had a rotten time on his date with Abby, much to Connor's amusement. Jess had completely been avoiding him, and he hadn't even seen Abby all day! He decided they were just mad because their dates hadn't worked out. Oh well, his should be a lot of fun!

"Hey, Sarah!" he said as he entered the lab. Cutter was there too and looked up as Connor went in. He seemed to be scowling at him and Connor was a bit surprised.

"Everything Ok, Professor?" he stuttered.

"Yes, fine, Connor- any reason it wouldn't be?"

"Er…no?" What was going on today? Either he'd gone mad or everyone else had! He decided to ignore it, they were probably grumpy because of the odd partnering he'd set up. What a laugh! Who was it he'd partnered Cutter with? Oh yes, Emily. Well, actually that one hadn't been too bad. He had wanted to set him up with Christine Johnson. That would have been funny! But Cutter would murder him if he had, and he'd found out what he'd done!

"Ready to go, then?" he said to Sarah instead.

"Ooh yes, Connor. I can't wait to spend some time alone with you!" she said almost purring in his ear.

"Yeah, that's great…wait! What?"

"Actually, Connor, can we just go to the pub? I'm working with these musty old things all day. I just want some you and me time tonight. Is that OK?"

"Er…OK, Sarah, if you'd rather…"

"Great! I'll just take my lab coat off and we'll be off!" With that Sarah removed the white lab coat she'd been wearing, and Connor's eyes nearly popped out of his head. She was wearing a low cut dress with a heart locket resting on the soft mound of her chest, instead of her usual simple tops and brown skirts she liked to wear. She lifted her leg up onto a chair and bent down to adjust the buckle on her high heeled shoes, giving Connor a full glimpse at both her bosom and also her bare legs.

Connor licked his lips, and couldn't drag his eyes away. "L...let's go, Sarah." he croaked. What was she doing to him, he wondered! He liked her as a friend, but his heart belonged to Abby, and Sarah knew that.

Sarah suddenly closed the gap between them and as she moved closer to Connor, she took his hand and placed it on her chest. "Can you feel my heart pounding, Connor? You know, I really think that dating calculator of yours has put us together for a reason. You feel it too, don't you?" And she moved so near to him that he could feel her breath on his face.

Connor started to back up slowly, as if from a predator. "Er..Sarah…no…I…I er...Think you've got the wrong idea…." He stuttered, red in the face and terror etching his features. Sarah was coming onto him, in front of Cutter too!

Sarah continued advancing, whilst Connor kept backing up as if the two of them were partners in some kind of dance. Suddenly his back hit the wall behind him and he had nowhere else to go. Sarah reached him and put her hand on his chest. "My, but you've got muscles, Connor. I never noticed before. Come here, lover, and let me see…" Sarah began undoing the buttons on Connor's shirt, and as fast as she was undoing them, he tried to do them up again.

"Sarah!" he squeaked in fright.

"Come now, Connor- don't be shy. The dating calculator paired us for a reason! I never realised it before, but we're the perfect match. What do you think, Cutter?"

Connor couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had Sarah lost her mind or did she really think they'd make a great couple? She was attractive and he'd enjoyed the glimpse of her legs, he _was_ a man after all- but there wasn't a 'spark' between them... not like with Abby and him!

"You'd be perfect together. Connor, it's time you 'manned up.' Show Sarah what you're made of."

"What!" Connor cried.

"See! Even Cutter agrees. Oh! Is it because he's in the room? Don't worry about him- he's been married, there's nothing he hasn't seen before. Hey- Cutter, maybe you'd like to join us too!"

Connor nearly had a fit! He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "No!" he wailed, sounding petrified. "I mean…Sarah…I…"

Suddenly there was a wave of laughter from the doorway, and the others moved into the room. Sarah moved away from Connor, doubling over with mirth.

"W…What the...?" Connor managed to say, looking from one team member to the next, who surrounded him.

"We found you out, Connor!" Matt informed him, grinning. "We know you set us all up!"

"Oh!"

"And we know you really wanted to fix a date with Abby!" Danny announced to Connor's total embarrassment, right in front of Abby who stood there with the rest. He risked a look at her, but she wasn't laughing like the others, and stood with her arms folded in front of her chest. He groaned aloud and hid his face in his hands.

"I'd like a word with you in my office at ten o'clock tomorrow morning, Temple!" Lester added, hardly able to suppress his smirk, as he left the room. As they all began to file past Connor, he could hear the comments amid all the laughter.

"Er… Jess, do you fancy having a drink with me tonight?" Becker asked, glaring at Connor as he left the room. Connor didn't notice. His head was still in his hands, hiding his red face.

"Oh! I'd love to!" he heard Jess reply. She patted Connor's arm sympathetically as she passed him.

Cutter shook his head as he went. "Arse!" he said. "Hey, Jenny- wait up! Let's get that meal I promised you!"

Danny and Christine moved towards the door, arm in arm, Danny grinning inanely at Connor's discomfort, slapping him on the back as he left the room. "Good one Connor!"

Once everyone had gone, a totally mortified Connor lifted his head from his hands and took a deep breathe. "Well, that went well!" he said to nobody in particular.

"Could have been worse." A small voice said, startling him- he'd thought he was alone. He spun round, and saw Abby standing with the calculator in her hand.

"What on earth possessed you, Connor?"

"I…look, Abby- I know we're mates, but mates can fancy each other as well, right? I er, I wanted a date with you so I…well I contrived the dating calculator. I didn't want to pair us together the first time- I was scared you'd just push me away again. I thought if I paired you with Becker…well, you and he have always bickered…and I thought…that you'd see I wasn't so bad!"

"You went through all this, for me?" she said.

"Well, yeah." He admitted, laughing a little. "And for the fun! But mostly…yeah. Abby I just wanted…I mean…I feel that we…..I mean…."

"Shut up, Connor!" she said as she moved close to him and her lips moved towards his. She stopped, and looked at him, and then slowly they joined together at last in a long, lingering kiss.

"You only had to ask, Connor!" Abby whispered as they drew apart. "I really do like you too…"

"Abby…will you go out with me, please?" he whispered.

"Yes, now kiss me, you idiot!" She responded and then they were once again lost in each other's arms.

Abby threw the dating calculator down as she wrapped her arms around Connor's neck. The calculator hit the ground where it rolled over once, then shattered into pieces and lay there unnoticed as Abby and Connor forgot all about their surroundings and the trouble Connor was in, as they passionately kissed ….

THE END

_Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and to review! Thank you very much- I hope you enjoyed it!_


End file.
